What is powerful – Love or Fear?

When this thought crossed my mind, I wasn’t aware that there is such a strong debate around these two emotions. I simply decided to write about it as its been on my mind for a few days now and writing helps me figure out things.

Love is a beautiful feeling – it fills you with hope, gives you a reason to go on and even courage to face the unthinkable. A mom protecting her child is the biggest proof of all. You trust the one you love, and you want to hope, to dream. You want to spend time with them or sometimes just hearing their voice is enough. Maybe that one single yellow rose will bring a smile to your face.

But along with love comes fear – what happens next, what if you are rejected or it isn’t what they had hoped it would be and many more what ifs. The fear of losing the love can be a terrifying thought!!! Doubts start creeping in which make you question your love and starts to colour your decisions – why did she say this? Is he pulling away? Am I doing the right thing?

But ultimately, doesn’t the fear comes from our own insecurities? So why are we insecure? Should love not be enough?

A wise old man (I can see him smiling as he reads this) told me that maybe it is because we want to bottle up our love in labelled containers rather than enjoy the flow of love itself.

It sounded drastic but is a label necessary – mom’s love, husband’s love, friend’s love, or your love’s love. We have even managed to judge the right and wrong types of love. We then get scared when it wants to get out of its assigned container – will we lose it once the lid is opened? Sometimes we prefer to give it up to avoid the fear of losing – I let it go first before it left me!

But if you are sure of your love, you need to let it guide you. After a lot of introspection and a long walk on the beach, I realised that for me love and trust goes hand-in-hand. Full faith and full trust! That is what helps me manage my fear and on good days even takes away my fear completely. I do not try to find hidden meanings behind the words or the tone. I trust that the one I love will tell me if there is something I need to know. It is more important to be here with them – in the present rather than decipher its future. Of course, I still worry about their well-being (inherent mom syndrome!) but I do not doubt.

Some days, I close my eyes and listen – if I do not know what to say, I simply listen. I like to believe they can hear my silence and know that I am right there beside them, holding their hand and that they can rest their head on my shoulder before we start on the journey again.

For me, that is when love is more powerful than fear!