Letter to my Dream

My dear beautiful Dream,

Hi! It’s been ages since we last spoke to each other.

We were young back when we first met – It was meant to be, we just knew it was right and started walking together. I believed nothing could stop us. You were my happy place – a place where I was safe from the world and full of smiles and hope.

But slowly the voice of my inner critic grew louder and louder in my head – Wake up – this is just a dream, face the reality. It’s not meant to be – it said again and again. You tried to hold on to me but the inner voices in my head were raging. It was screaming at me – this is not my path, this is not my life, this is not what is expected from me. Weary, and resigned I gave in and let go of your hand and opened my eyes.

As I stepped into the ‘real world’ – I became a daughter, sister, wife, mother, friend, colleague but rarely was ME. On quiet days, I caught myself thinking “what if” and got scared and tightly shut the box.

Decades later, I finally look at myself, playing some roles stronger than ever and leaving behind some others – a little older with a lot of cracks and dents. I am still shy and quiet, but I realise, also a little braver.

Out of the blue – you reached out to me. You have also changed through the years, but you are still beautiful. You waited for me patiently as I stumbled in life and tried to find my footing. You didn’t expect anything from me – you were just there for me, keeping a part of my soul alive.

And I started thinking – Can I? Should I? Am I crazy? The inner voice reared its head again to tell me – it’s too late, look at you, all broken and cracked, you are not good enough, you will disappoint your dream again. But this time, I was able to overcome the voice, this time I believe in myself, I believe in ‘Us’.

I need not have to choose between my dream and my roles, I can do both, maybe stronger with you by my side. I don’t know what lies ahead, I also know it will be difficult, we will be judged, and I am terrified. Though I may not say it in as many words, but I have faith in us, and I love us, so I am all in, all the way – I am not letting go. Maybe we will make it and maybe we won’t but at least we would have given it our all and we would have walked together.

So, I am going to hold on as tightly as I can, and dream with my eyes wide open.

With love

Me